What’s That on Your Face?
Our faces reflect what we think and feel about another person—opening the door to wonderful and mutually satisfying moments of shared joy.
The zest, flavor, and texture in my interactions with others invite them to the banqueting table of shared connection. All it takes is the effort to see others as a gift—as special or favorite—simply because they exist. It is a clear indicator when that happens: I'm beginning to see people from God's perspective. "God-things" start to happen when heaven's gaze lights my face.
Learning to see through God’s Eyes of Grace is a challenge - and call to us all. It’s where
”God Things” start to happen.
On the other hand, my face can slam doors, uninviting people, disconnecting, warning others to stay away. With a glance, I can communicate my utter contempt or disinterest in a person. If I don't see others as a gift—as someone worthy of love—my face readily reflects my displeasure. Anytime I view another as less valuable than God does, it is a clear indicator that I've lost His perspective.
Neuroscience has fascinating things to say about the face. The brain's relational control center, located in the right hemisphere of the brain, processes the look on another person's face at warp speed. In just 1/6 of a second (faster than conscious thought), my control center recognizes the look on someone else's face, interprets it, reacts to it emotionally, and initiates my response. Quite literally, my brain is already responding before it's even had time to process the meaning of any words spoken to me.
Relationally, this means something important: our faces go before us!
The look on my face—especially my eyes—communicates how I feel and see other people as we interact. When my face reflects "you are special – a delight – and worthy of love," I open the door to connect with another person before they even know what's happening. We begin to share grace and joy together. My face can reflect the opposite, too. It will show on my face if I don't see another person as a delight, special, or deserving of my love, time, or attention. My words of pretense might sound flattering, but my face tells the real story. My face leads to healthy connection – or fear-based connections.
I know there are difficult, mean, and narcissistic people. Some are more predatory than others, and they are all afraid. Learning to see others through God's eyes in these situations is almost humanly impossible at times. It's really ugly out there! But, if we take an honest look, we will see the same kind of difficult, mean, narcissistic, fearful, and predatory behavior in ourselves.
Seeing others thru the eyes of God's genuine, loving grace is virtually impossible unless we've experienced it for ourselves. Despite our own "ugly" that we try so hard to hide, His joy, delight, and love for us are unconditional. Learning to see ourselves through God's eyes of grace liberates us—empowering us to see others the same way. When you and I discover His grace, it is eye-opening.
Our faces will tell the story of grace.
Find out more in my new book, Becoming a Face of Grace: Navigating Lasting Relationships with God and Others. It's available on Amazon in Kindle or print. In future blogs, I'll define grace clearly, and explore the wonders of grace-based attachments with God and Others.